[Oh. Ooooh fuck. Okay there's the anxiety. He stares at his Leaf for a long minute or two. Fuck. He was kind of hoping the surprise of the other Persona users had been a good distraction and they wouldn't have this conversation, and they could both move on with their lives never thinking about it again. (At least. Souji never thinking about it again).
The silence of his response probably isn't helping Souji is it? Shit.]
If you want to There's probably a lot to talk about
[True to his word, Souji will be in the kitchen when Yosuke arrives, stirring a giant pot on the stove with an outward calmness that masks the turbulent mix of emotions hidden underneath. Inside the pot is a stew cobbled together with a mix of meat and vegetables Souji was able to find in the kitchen. It’s almost done, so it probably smells pretty good.]
[Yosuke stops at the entrance to the kitchen and watches Souji for a second. Shit. It does smell good. He's only had Souji's cooking a couple of times when his friend shared his lunch, and it's always been delicious. It smells like stew, and Yosuke knows he's in very real trouble since ...it's still one of his favorites.
Well. Souji's probably going to gently turn him down like Yosuke's seen him do for everyone else that's confessed to him. Which isn't the worst thing. As long as their friendship is still in tact; it would be too awkward to be stuck here as the only person Souji knows from home.
(Of course, there's still that little petty, nasty, ugly voice inside him reminding Yosuke that he's betraying the memory of Saki-senpai. Being turned down would only be right after everything that happened.
He takes a deep breath and waltzes in like he isn't a storm of anxiety and thinly covered nervousness underneath.] Yo-hoooo smells good! You always had a knack for making good stew.
[Yosuke leans against the counter a reasonable distance away. Not too close that it's too familiar and presumptuous. Not too far away to make it awkward and seem like Yosuke doesn't want to talk. He crosses his arms casually, like he always does and is a totally normal thing to do, watching Souji work.]
How'd you manage to find good ingredients in this place? I can barely find anything close to a good TaP.
[There is a process to mentally bracing yourself for the pain that comes from being left behind. You learn to expect the loss of people who’ve been present in your life, watching for it like an oncoming train derailing on the horizon. Souji has gone through it so many times it’s second nature at this point, and he spends the time waiting for Yosuke to arrive preparing himself mentally for what he expects the outcome of this meeting to be - another lost friendship.
It’s ironic, he thinks, with a note of bitterness, that this is happening after all with the one person he realized (too late, once again he was too late) he truly wanted to keep in his life.
A cruel voice in the back of his mind whispers that it’s what he deserves.
Yosuke arrives acting so aggressively normal, and Souji forces his face to produce a tired smile despite how much his heart aches in the moment.]
Just lucky, I guess. [He shrugs. Ha, right. Him, lucky.] Perfect timing, though, it’s just about done.
[He turns the stove off, gives the stew a final stir, and sets to work dishing up a bowl for Yosuke, along with a second bowl of steamed rice.]
[If he's being honest, sometimes Souji's a little difficult to read. He's only known the guy for a couple of months now. And while Yosuke would like to say they're close enough he can figure out what his friend is thinking, most of the time that calm even-tempered demeanor is a thick velvet curtain hiding the guy's thoughts off from everyone around him.
Normally, Yosuke doesn't think too much about it. Sometimes, it's a little anxiety inducing.
Right now, Yosuke feels like his insides are winding up too tight trying to guess at what Souji's going to say.
He can already guess how this is going to turn out, but his nerves are shot as he takes both bowls as they're handed to him. Shit. Now he can't even get cold feet and run if he changes his mind suddenly. Instead, he moves to take a seat at the nearest table, bowls on the flat surface and hope he can stomach something. Anything.]
It's... probably better to do this now than later, right? A-anyway, look. I- I know what you're gonna say. And it's fine. I wasn't really expecting anything, all that got messy and that was probably the worst way you could've found that out. But we're still friends. To the end, no matter what, unless you don't want me sticking around then I understand that too.
[His own habit of nervously prattling on takes hold and he can hear how he sounds, wishing he could stop. Please make him stop.] I just don't want you to think this changes anything between us, it doesn't have to, and I'll get over it-
[Souji takes the seat next to Yosuke while his friend rushes through his words, settling sideways in the chair so he can face him for this conversation. When it becomes clear he’s starting to stray off the rails verbally, Souji holds a hand up to signal him to halt.]
Yosuke … calm down, OK?
[He directs another smile at the other boy - small, thin, tired. Then, as if leading by example, he slowly inhales a deep breath and folds his hands in his lap.]
You’re very important to me, Yosuke. I don’t think I realized just how important until recently.
[It’s crucial to get that part out first. Maybe it will help dampen his friend’s anxiety.]
When I left Inaba, I didn’t really expect that we’d keep in touch. You know how moving away from your friends changes things. You may have the best intentions, but stuff comes up. You drift apart.
[Souji knows Yosuke understands this. They talked about it.]
But finding you here … it made me realize that it would be a mistake to let you go like that. And I didn’t want that for us.
[Yosuke feels his heart racing. He almost doesn't hear Souji's worse, but sees him making the motion with his hands and stops talking. He feel like he can't even breathe but ...It's just like his friend, his leader, to anticipate it and mime following the motion to take a deeper breath.
Breathe. Right. And not feel like his insides are going to bottom out onto the floor under them.
You're very important to me, which is better than the worst option of Souji ending their friendship. If they can end this conversation still being friends, Yosuke will take it. That's what he really wanted anyway, for nothing to change between them.
It's kind of wild, he thinks, I'm worried about him not wanting me around for liking him, and he's probably worried about me thinking he's a murderer. He's got to get his head on straight.]
I- don't want that either. After everything we've seen so far, the TV world and here?
[Souji nods, but it’s not just that he and Yosuke are bonded through the conflict and combat they’ve faced, both here and back in Inaba with the TV World. It’s the fact that Yosuke was the first friend he made in Inaba, his first Social Link - the first person he made a truly deep connection with, ever. Yosuke left an indelible mark on Souji’s heart, and Souji recognizes that he already nearly broke their connection once before.
He is so afraid it will happen in a way that can’t be repaired if he screws up again.]
I don’t really talk about this much, but I’ve never dated anyone before. My parents … well, they didn’t forbid it, but they didn’t need to. You know how parents can be about making their expectations known.
[It's a good reminder that this isn't entirely about himself. It's just as equally about Souji's feelings as Yosuke's. Yosuke lets the cold shower of the reality check wash over him and steels his nerves.
Souji hadn't ever really talked much about his parents before. He listens intently. Boy...]
Parental expectations huh... Yeah. I know. [His father had never needed to say as much. Being who they are in Inaba, Yosuke could feel those expectations every day.] Did they push a lot on studies and grades?
Not just good grades - excellent grades. And with how often we moved … I decided a long time ago that there was no point to even thinking about dating, because it just wouldn’t be realistic to imagine as part of my life until I was older and finished with school. So I never considered who I’d want to date, or have feelings for, or what “my type” was.
[In other words, he cut himself off from the possibility entirely. Better to keep that aspect of teen life at arm’s length, just like how he conditioned himself to never get too close to anyone he met in all of the various towns and cities and schools over the years of constant flux.]
None of that matters anymore. My parents aren’t here, and I’m not going anywhere.
[It occurs to Yosuke at this moment that he really has no idea how many times Souji's moved around. Moving even once from one town and school to another is hard, but how often has Souji had to? He's curious but not enough to break the thought Souji's telling him.
He nods as Souji says he's never considered what kind of person he'd want to date or be interested in. But even Souji can see the light surprise on Yosuke's face when the other boy announces his parents aren't here and he isn't going anywhere.]
Yeah? I mean - I'm still not a hundred percent sold on this place, but it is giving us some time we probably didn't have back in Inaba.
I don’t think the court rulers are trustworthy, and I don’t like that they brought us and are keeping us here against our will … but I don’t really believe what they said about everyone at home being gone, either. [He shrugs lightly.] The truth is that we don’t have a way to leave, so until we find a way, it seems best to make the most of the situation we’re in.
[There’s more to it for Souji, of course. Being brought to another world with no way back is an escape from his past, from the guilt of the deaths he caused and the crushing pressure of returning to an ordinary life with his parents. Sure, this world may be dangerous and strange, but he isn’t alone. He has a friend, a true friend he trusts with his life.
… Maybe more than a friend.]
What I’m trying to say is … I don’t know if I feel the same way about you, Yosuke. I’m glad you told me … but I’m not sure what to do now. [He pauses, lips pursed, carefully choosing his words.] I’m surprised you can stand to be in the same room as me, after what I told you.
[Yosuke isn't always the immediately rash reactive one. He takes his time to think this over. He knows how he feels. And he does regret terribly not telling Saki-senpai how he felt despite knowing how she thought of him; in the end, he wishes he could have simply gotten the words out and in the open rather than kept to himself.
In a turn of events, he's said what he wanted to Souji. Souji knows how he feels. It's still a fledgling feeling after only a couple of months, not the longer time he spent with Saki that gave those feelings room to breathe and grow as they spent more time together. He could easily move right on past this crush spending more time with Souji either here or back home.
And more than that, he doesn't want to lose his friend. Their friendship matters more to him than any other building feelings. Souji was the first real friend he made in Inaba. The first person that reached out and made a genuine connection and followed through on it instead of saying one remarkable thing that changed his view and then putting distance between them. On top of that, Souji's now seen the worst of him twice and is still sitting next to him, saying he doesn't want to lose Yosuke.
He looks down at the bowl of stew in front of him. That Souji cooked and prepared to share with him. Whether it was because Souji genuinely wanted to do that, or to soften the blow of saying no, it doesn't matter. It's the actions that matter, and Souji just... did it.
He smiles a little, probably familiar to Souji now.] I told you before. It couldn't have been your decision alone. I probably agreed with you. So if you think you're a murderer, then so am I at that point.
[It's as simple as that.]
Edited (my grammar upon waking... fixing that) Date: 2025-10-01 02:20 am (UTC)
[Souji doesn’t tell Yosuke that he did in fact agree with him, and not only did he agree, he was the loudest to advocate for pushing Namatame into the TV and leaving him to die in that other world. Someone close to me died … her killer can’t be convicted … and now I’m gonna let the same thing happen again? There’s no way I can do that! Souji remembers how angry Yosuke was during that confrontation, how distraught he was when Nanako died. He can’t make Yosuke go through that again.
(Souji can’t bear to see Yosuke go through that again.)
There were others from the team who agreed, and some who disagreed. It wasn’t a unanimous decision. They all looked to Souji to make the decision for them as their leader, and Souji is the one who gave Namatame his death sentence: Push the bastard in. Yosuke and the others may be complicit in the murder, but in Souji’s mind, he’s the one who bears the brunt of the blame.
But he doesn’t want to argue about this again. It was hard enough confessing to it in the first place, and for some reason - loyalty? the rose-colored glasses of having a crush? - Yosuke doesn’t hate him for what he’s done. That’s better than Souji thinks he deserves, and his expression settles into a small rueful smile.]
I don’t know if I’ll be any good at dating, or - being a boyfriend, or whatever you want to call it. But I think … unless you’ve changed your mind, I think I’d like to try.
It's okay, I understand. Like I said, I don't want you to think this changes anything about our friendship and I'm not upse-
[Wait.
Yosuke blinks a couple times in confusion looking over at Souji. His expression teeters between surprised and disbelief. After a minute of waiting for Souji to say "just kidding" or something similar, his lips quirk up in an unsure smile.]
Heh. You... really mean that? I mean. I'd- like to try to? I haven't dated anyone before either, so... We can figure it out together?
[Souji nods, and his smile warms. He would never joke about something so serious as Yosuke’s feelings. Hearts can be fragile things, and after sharing such a sincere secret, it would cruel to give Yosuke anything less than full honesty.]
I’d like that too.
[They’re partners, after all. Doing things together is how partners operate.]
If I do something wrong, you’ll tell me right away, right?
[There is just something small that shifts in Yosuke's eyes, like a nearly-imperceptible light that shines through as the realization sets in. Souji's not only okay with Yosuke like this, but also wants to try dating him? Maybe Yosuke won't completely screw this up.
He'll always have that soft spot in his heart for Saki Konishi, a part of him that won't ever forget the change she made in him and what he wishes could have been. But Souji's place in his heart is just as big, if not brighter for all the things Souji's done for him as his friend.
His smile spreads a little wider.] Absolutely. You gotta tell me too, all right?
[That almost undetectable way Yosuke's eyes light up sparks a gentle warmth in Souji, in a place he forgot existed, a place that went cold last December. This decision - to be together - is the first thing that's felt right in a long time.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-09-27 01:24 pm (UTC)Did you still want to talk?
no subject
Date: 2025-09-27 01:27 pm (UTC)[Oh. Ooooh fuck. Okay there's the anxiety. He stares at his Leaf for a long minute or two. Fuck. He was kind of hoping the surprise of the other Persona users had been a good distraction and they wouldn't have this conversation, and they could both move on with their lives never thinking about it again. (At least. Souji never thinking about it again).
The silence of his response probably isn't helping Souji is it? Shit.]
If you want to
There's probably a lot to talk about
no subject
Date: 2025-09-27 01:43 pm (UTC)I’ll be in the kitchen for a while if you do want to talk. Or if you just want something to eat.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-27 01:50 pm (UTC)[He'll feel like throwing up but he at least won't do it in front of Souji and make him feel bad, or worse, like Yosuke doesn't like his cooking. ]
I can head over in a minute
no subject
Date: 2025-09-27 02:03 pm (UTC)[True to his word, Souji will be in the kitchen when Yosuke arrives, stirring a giant pot on the stove with an outward calmness that masks the turbulent mix of emotions hidden underneath. Inside the pot is a stew cobbled together with a mix of meat and vegetables Souji was able to find in the kitchen. It’s almost done, so it probably smells pretty good.]
no subject
Date: 2025-09-27 02:13 pm (UTC)Well. Souji's probably going to gently turn him down like Yosuke's seen him do for everyone else that's confessed to him. Which isn't the worst thing. As long as their friendship is still in tact; it would be too awkward to be stuck here as the only person Souji knows from home.
(Of course, there's still that little petty, nasty, ugly voice inside him reminding Yosuke that he's betraying the memory of Saki-senpai. Being turned down would only be right after everything that happened.
He takes a deep breath and waltzes in like he isn't a storm of anxiety and thinly covered nervousness underneath.] Yo-hoooo smells good! You always had a knack for making good stew.
[Yosuke leans against the counter a reasonable distance away. Not too close that it's too familiar and presumptuous. Not too far away to make it awkward and seem like Yosuke doesn't want to talk. He crosses his arms casually, like he always does and is a totally normal thing to do, watching Souji work.]
How'd you manage to find good ingredients in this place? I can barely find anything close to a good TaP.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-28 02:39 pm (UTC)It’s ironic, he thinks, with a note of bitterness, that this is happening after all with the one person he realized (too late, once again he was too late) he truly wanted to keep in his life.
A cruel voice in the back of his mind whispers that it’s what he deserves.
Yosuke arrives acting so aggressively normal, and Souji forces his face to produce a tired smile despite how much his heart aches in the moment.]
Just lucky, I guess. [He shrugs. Ha, right. Him, lucky.] Perfect timing, though, it’s just about done.
[He turns the stove off, gives the stew a final stir, and sets to work dishing up a bowl for Yosuke, along with a second bowl of steamed rice.]
I appreciate that you agreed to speak with me.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-28 03:18 pm (UTC)Normally, Yosuke doesn't think too much about it. Sometimes, it's a little anxiety inducing.
Right now, Yosuke feels like his insides are winding up too tight trying to guess at what Souji's going to say.
He can already guess how this is going to turn out, but his nerves are shot as he takes both bowls as they're handed to him. Shit. Now he can't even get cold feet and run if he changes his mind suddenly. Instead, he moves to take a seat at the nearest table, bowls on the flat surface and hope he can stomach something. Anything.]
It's... probably better to do this now than later, right? A-anyway, look. I- I know what you're gonna say. And it's fine. I wasn't really expecting anything, all that got messy and that was probably the worst way you could've found that out. But we're still friends. To the end, no matter what, unless you don't want me sticking around then I understand that too.
[His own habit of nervously prattling on takes hold and he can hear how he sounds, wishing he could stop. Please make him stop.] I just don't want you to think this changes anything between us, it doesn't have to, and I'll get over it-
no subject
Date: 2025-09-29 04:32 am (UTC)Yosuke … calm down, OK?
[He directs another smile at the other boy - small, thin, tired. Then, as if leading by example, he slowly inhales a deep breath and folds his hands in his lap.]
You’re very important to me, Yosuke. I don’t think I realized just how important until recently.
[It’s crucial to get that part out first. Maybe it will help dampen his friend’s anxiety.]
When I left Inaba, I didn’t really expect that we’d keep in touch. You know how moving away from your friends changes things. You may have the best intentions, but stuff comes up. You drift apart.
[Souji knows Yosuke understands this. They talked about it.]
But finding you here … it made me realize that it would be a mistake to let you go like that. And I didn’t want that for us.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-29 04:48 am (UTC)Breathe. Right. And not feel like his insides are going to bottom out onto the floor under them.
You're very important to me, which is better than the worst option of Souji ending their friendship. If they can end this conversation still being friends, Yosuke will take it. That's what he really wanted anyway, for nothing to change between them.
It's kind of wild, he thinks, I'm worried about him not wanting me around for liking him, and he's probably worried about me thinking he's a murderer. He's got to get his head on straight.]
I- don't want that either. After everything we've seen so far, the TV world and here?
no subject
Date: 2025-09-29 06:15 am (UTC)He is so afraid it will happen in a way that can’t be repaired if he screws up again.]
I don’t really talk about this much, but I’ve never dated anyone before. My parents … well, they didn’t forbid it, but they didn’t need to. You know how parents can be about making their expectations known.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-29 12:00 pm (UTC)Souji hadn't ever really talked much about his parents before. He listens intently. Boy...]
Parental expectations huh... Yeah. I know. [His father had never needed to say as much. Being who they are in Inaba, Yosuke could feel those expectations every day.] Did they push a lot on studies and grades?
no subject
Date: 2025-09-29 05:26 pm (UTC)Not just good grades - excellent grades. And with how often we moved … I decided a long time ago that there was no point to even thinking about dating, because it just wouldn’t be realistic to imagine as part of my life until I was older and finished with school. So I never considered who I’d want to date, or have feelings for, or what “my type” was.
[In other words, he cut himself off from the possibility entirely. Better to keep that aspect of teen life at arm’s length, just like how he conditioned himself to never get too close to anyone he met in all of the various towns and cities and schools over the years of constant flux.]
None of that matters anymore. My parents aren’t here, and I’m not going anywhere.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-30 04:50 am (UTC)He nods as Souji says he's never considered what kind of person he'd want to date or be interested in. But even Souji can see the light surprise on Yosuke's face when the other boy announces his parents aren't here and he isn't going anywhere.]
Yeah? I mean - I'm still not a hundred percent sold on this place, but it is giving us some time we probably didn't have back in Inaba.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-30 02:06 pm (UTC)[There’s more to it for Souji, of course. Being brought to another world with no way back is an escape from his past, from the guilt of the deaths he caused and the crushing pressure of returning to an ordinary life with his parents. Sure, this world may be dangerous and strange, but he isn’t alone. He has a friend, a true friend he trusts with his life.
… Maybe more than a friend.]
What I’m trying to say is … I don’t know if I feel the same way about you, Yosuke. I’m glad you told me … but I’m not sure what to do now. [He pauses, lips pursed, carefully choosing his words.] I’m surprised you can stand to be in the same room as me, after what I told you.
no subject
Date: 2025-10-01 02:17 am (UTC)[Yosuke isn't always the immediately rash reactive one. He takes his time to think this over. He knows how he feels. And he does regret terribly not telling Saki-senpai how he felt despite knowing how she thought of him; in the end, he wishes he could have simply gotten the words out and in the open rather than kept to himself.
In a turn of events, he's said what he wanted to Souji. Souji knows how he feels. It's still a fledgling feeling after only a couple of months, not the longer time he spent with Saki that gave those feelings room to breathe and grow as they spent more time together. He could easily move right on past this crush spending more time with Souji either here or back home.
And more than that, he doesn't want to lose his friend. Their friendship matters more to him than any other building feelings. Souji was the first real friend he made in Inaba. The first person that reached out and made a genuine connection and followed through on it instead of saying one remarkable thing that changed his view and then putting distance between them. On top of that, Souji's now seen the worst of him twice and is still sitting next to him, saying he doesn't want to lose Yosuke.
He looks down at the bowl of stew in front of him. That Souji cooked and prepared to share with him. Whether it was because Souji genuinely wanted to do that, or to soften the blow of saying no, it doesn't matter. It's the actions that matter, and Souji just... did it.
He smiles a little, probably familiar to Souji now.] I told you before. It couldn't have been your decision alone. I probably agreed with you. So if you think you're a murderer, then so am I at that point.
[It's as simple as that.]
no subject
Date: 2025-10-01 10:59 pm (UTC)(Souji can’t bear to see Yosuke go through that again.)
There were others from the team who agreed, and some who disagreed. It wasn’t a unanimous decision. They all looked to Souji to make the decision for them as their leader, and Souji is the one who gave Namatame his death sentence: Push the bastard in. Yosuke and the others may be complicit in the murder, but in Souji’s mind, he’s the one who bears the brunt of the blame.
But he doesn’t want to argue about this again. It was hard enough confessing to it in the first place, and for some reason - loyalty? the rose-colored glasses of having a crush? - Yosuke doesn’t hate him for what he’s done. That’s better than Souji thinks he deserves, and his expression settles into a small rueful smile.]
I don’t know if I’ll be any good at dating, or - being a boyfriend, or whatever you want to call it. But I think … unless you’ve changed your mind, I think I’d like to try.
no subject
Date: 2025-10-02 01:01 am (UTC)[Wait.
Yosuke blinks a couple times in confusion looking over at Souji. His expression teeters between surprised and disbelief. After a minute of waiting for Souji to say "just kidding" or something similar, his lips quirk up in an unsure smile.]
Heh. You... really mean that? I mean. I'd- like to try to? I haven't dated anyone before either, so... We can figure it out together?
no subject
Date: 2025-10-06 10:49 pm (UTC)I’d like that too.
[They’re partners, after all. Doing things together is how partners operate.]
If I do something wrong, you’ll tell me right away, right?
no subject
Date: 2025-10-08 04:23 am (UTC)He'll always have that soft spot in his heart for Saki Konishi, a part of him that won't ever forget the change she made in him and what he wishes could have been. But Souji's place in his heart is just as big, if not brighter for all the things Souji's done for him as his friend.
His smile spreads a little wider.] Absolutely. You gotta tell me too, all right?
no subject
Date: 2025-11-03 03:49 am (UTC)[That almost undetectable way Yosuke's eyes light up sparks a gentle warmth in Souji, in a place he forgot existed, a place that went cold last December. This decision - to be together - is the first thing that's felt right in a long time.]